Announcement Calls
by Firefly264
Summary: Karkat comes home to some... surprising news. JadeKat, Post-Game, read AN for warnings. ONESHOT


**So this isn't my first Homestuck fic, but it's the first I've deemed acceptable to post here instead of just on tumblr, so here you go.**

**Pairing(s): Jadekat (3), mentions of EriJade ()**

**Warnings: Expected levels of swearing, sloppy makeouts**

**Additional Notes: post-Game, everyone is alive and happy because I said so, and human females can get pregnant with a troll partner because biology and ****SCIENCE******

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Jade is waiting for you when you come home. Curled up in her favourite corner of the couch, wearing one of your baggier sweaters with her hands tucked into the sleeves, she pats the space beside her and you sit.

"Kar…" she hardly ever calls you that; it's just one of those things that rubbed off on her from her moiraillegiance with Eridan. "There's something – I need to tell you something."

You take her hand gently, claws you had once used for battle gently rubbing circles onto her knuckles. You can't help the shock of anxiety at the quiet uncertainty of her voice; it scares you to hear her unsure, so far from her usual top-of-the-world happy demeanor. "Is everything okay?"

She draws in a deep, shuddery breath before lifting her chin and meeting your eyes. Hers are rimmed red and again you feel that thrill of protective fear.

"I'm pregnant."

. . .

What.

_What?_

You pull your hand out of hers and bolt upright. You would deny the screech that just tore from your throat if you weren't distracted by this life-changing, _world-ending, __**reality-shattering**_ reveal.

What is happening? No, seriously, why is this a thing that is happening? _How_ is this a thing that is happening? You've heard rare cases of half-blooded wrigglers being born as inter-species couples become more commonplace, but that just doesn't happen to you. Karkat Vantas is not a father.

You aren't ready to be a father.

Holy shit, your matesprit is _human-pregnant with your child_. And you _aren't ready for this._

You're still frozen in place, mouth open as you gape at her, but you have been lost in thought for what is probably nearing a full ninety seconds now and she's just sitting there, curling tighter into herself and clutching at her abdomen.

"'m sorry, Karkat, I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"

Why is she apologizing?

"Why are you crying?"

Fat tears are rolling down her cheeks, and you finally manage to get it together enough to fall to your knees in front of her and brush them away. She jumps at your touch but doesn't pull back, only leans into your palm and continues to cry, silent except for the occasional hiccupping sob.

"I didn't know for sure a-and then Rose and Eridan figured it out almost at the sa-ame time and I - "she dissolves back into quiet tears and you gather her close. Sliding to the floor so you can lean against the couch you let her curl against your chest and just hold her, rocking side to side and humming tunelessly.

You bury your face into the soft silk of her hair and breathe, smelling the citrus of her shampoo, the saltiness of her sorrow, and you ache because _what did she think you would say? _

Her hands are still twisted into your shirt as she uncurls, leaning her head against your shoulder and breathing deeply, trying to calm herself.

"You're sure?" You ask quietly, carefully. You don't want to set her off back into sorrow or anger, but you need to know.

"Took the test an hour ago," she mumbles, eyes half-lidded behind her glasses as she watched you for a reaction.

You're still utterly petrified at the thought. She's pregnant. You're going to be parents.

You kiss her suddenly, hearing her squeak in surprise before reciprocating, twining her arms around your neck and her fingers in your hair. You moan and wrap your hands around her waist as she finds the base of one of your horns and presses on the sensitive spot behind it.

"I- fuck, Jade, I fucking love you." You pant and move your focus to her neck, tongue tracing the salty lines her tears had tracked reverently, teeth scratching lightly at the skin over her artery. You feel the pulse of her heart and her mouth against your jaw, the rhythm of her hips against you.

She laughs, out of breath and slightly unbelieving. "I thought you'd be – hnng – upset, I didn't want to t-tell you." She shudders and grinds into you, twisting your horns and shit, she's driving you crazy but –

She thought you'd be upset?

You pull away and hold her cheeks in your hands. Her lips are starting to swell and she looks at you with confusion. "Where the grubshitting _fuck_ did you get that idea?" you say incredulously. "What kind of troll do you take me for?"

She flushes bright red. "I just… I was scared, okay? How am I supposed to be a mother, how is this going to work what if I mess up – "

You kiss her again, with a bit more anger behind it this time, just to shut her up. You capture her gaze with a hard look.

"Stop with the self-pity, Harley," you snap. Her expression morphs from confusion to hurt, but you are far from done. "This is terrifying for both of us, okay? Trolls don't parent, they don't raise kids. I'm not wired that way, and you think you're the one who's going to fuck up?"

"I was raised by a dog!" she counters, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest. "A dog was my guardian; my home was a jungle island in the middle of the Pacific. I'm not cut out for this any more than you are and _I'm the one having this goddamn baby!_"

You're both glaring at each other now, and of course you realize how stupid it is to be arguing over who's going to be the worst parent, but you just want her to understand that she's "the greatest fucking thing that ever happened to me, and if you can deal with me and gillboy then you're going to be the best goddamn mother this universe has ever seen!"

The two of you are on your feet staring at each other, and you decide to open your fat mouth one last time and hope she gets it.

"My day was filled with idiots and bad news," you say, considerably quieter than you were before. "You think that _this_ is going to upset me? Don't get me wrong, I'm basically shitting in terror over here, but this," you put your hands on her hips and pull her closer, leaning in to kiss her forehead tenderly. "This is the greatest thing I've ever heard."

She sighs and hugs you tightly before pulling back again and looking up at you with a wide grin.

"Thank you," she says, pressing a kiss to your cheek and whispering into your ear, voice barely able to contain her joy. "I love you so much." She then swats at your shoulder and fucking _laughs_ at your squawk of protest. "But next time don't scare me like that, you ass."

You grin and shake your head, leading her by the hand out of the room.

You've got a few announcement calls to make.

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**Shameless OTP fluffy-times give me life don't judge meeeeeeee**

**I take great joy in comments, and even though I generally won't respond unless a direct question is asked, I take all constructive criticism into account for my next piece. So maybe take a moment to review?**


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